The Day I Broke-Up With Negative Self-Talk

Welcome to the party. Today, we are celebrating our enoughness. Cue the confetti and party noise makers. Toot toot!

Today, a sisterhood is lighting it up with how we’re ‘enough’ – right here, right now. We’re drop-kicking defeating self-talk to outerspace and letting it orbit some black hole where it’s meant to be. This party is a 100% self-love call. Ow Ow OWWWWWWW. Yes, we howl here – I was inspired by my awesome Grandma.

There is a dichotomy with feeling ‘enough.’ Simultaneously, we are proud of where and who we are, yet we recognize our incredible potential. It is not complacency, but confidence – we know we have all we need to turn any capability into an ability.

I am pretty sure most people are masters of negative self-talk, as in, we’d all be institutionalized if our discouraging thoughts were spoken to others. ‘How could you talk to someone like that, crazy lady?!’

I tend to have a repetitive handful of doubts running through my head. ‘You’re not savvy enough, lean enough, pretty enough, fast enough, organized enough, patient enough, motherly enough, and comedic enough.’

I was listening to a Jim Rohn seminar on YouTube over the weekend, and he was discussing our ability to change, and that we can choose to change anything we want, STARTING RIGHT NOW. He asked what some of those things were for us individually. (Watch or listen to the seminar HERE.  This segment starts at 33 minutes in, and is 5 minutes long. I highly recommend it – my blip doesn’t do it justice.)

I didn’t know what I wanted to change at the time. I thought, ‘Oh, I could stop pressing the snooze button.’ Good one, but not quite the #dreambig idea I was clamoring for. (I did do that too, by the way)

But today, I discovered that profound thing I want to change.

I am done thinking negatively about myself.

I am stopping it NOW and FOREVER. I am freeing myself of its slithering, deceitful, soul-sucking emptiness. Why can’t I stop doing it? Uh, I can, and I will. Holy cow, if you could see me grin as I type this. It’s a freedom I never thought of – a set of chains unlocked. I am unfettered. Ca-cawwwww.

‘Take that and rewind it back, Ludacris got the beat to make ya booty go, WHAT?! Take that and rewind it back, Lil’ John got the beat to make ya booty go!’ WOOT! I LOVE this party.

A SPECIAL SPOTLIGHT for the fiercest, mentally-negative beast

‘I’m not pretty enough.’

Rocket-launching that garbage after I smoosh and spit on it. I am so done with that mental ticker-tape. What a useless thought.  Beauty is so much more than fitting an ideal mold. Ha! It’s almost laughable how little that stuff actually means in terms of real beauty. I am beautiful because my heart is good and happy, because I love others and I love myself.

Ladies, I think we need t-shirts!

Expecting perfection of ourselves can be debilitating. It’s an unrealistic expectation that almost guarantees letdowns. Focus on striving for progress, not perfection.

Today, we scoff at the belittlers, even the ones in our own heads.

We own our destiny. We design our own lives, our days, hours, minutes, and even seconds. Our life is a culmination of choices. Choose to feel you are enough, every day. You are capable of every thing you want to be. You have all you need. Celebrate that.

If you’re not sharing your own ‘I Am Enough’ post, I encourage you to do one for yourself, personally, in a journal or private blog. (I have one of those too. It’s a joyful mess of thought-dumps)

Goodbye negative self talk. I will never miss you. Hey, anyone know of some great break-up songs? I want to sing/yell them all day.

Much love, #fitfam. You are amazing, and really, more than enough. Go get ’em!

Next week’s optional topic:

Bring more peeps to the party by sharing your ‘I Am Enough’ post. Here’s how:

  • Tweet the project using the the hashtag #believeiamenough
  • Share instagram photos using the same hashtag #believeiamenough
  • Share the project with your friends and family

Link-Up Below!

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28 Responses to The Day I Broke-Up With Negative Self-Talk

  1. Ow, ow, owwwwwwwww! Yeah! Because really what is enough, when is enough, for whom is it enough? We never know! One day it is one thing, the next day it is another. For sure it is never enough for us. It is great that we want to improve but we never celebrate those improvements, we shift our attention to something else that itches us. I once heard the saying “don’t compare your weaknessess to other peoples’ strengths”. We all have awesome qualities that we should be proud of! Love, loved the post! Xx

    • Owwww! Thanks for responding to the call. : ) Loved that. Yup, it’s quite possible to never feel like enough, because there is always more to do and be. Phooey on that! DONE. I love enjoying others’ strengths, it’s motivating. And the #fitfam is so loving and generous, it’s impossible not to root for them. Xoxo

    • AMEN, and Holla! Today is a the perfect day to get in the habit of self-praise and nix the trash talk. Love it! I love leaving the negativity behind. LATA! Much love, Mary Beth. : )

  2. Oh my, if we all said the thoughts we think about ourselves to other people, we would be the meanest monsters on the planet! I recently listened to a broadcast that said ‘If God loves me this much, why am I so hard on myself?’ That got me thinking…

    Wonderful post and I want to join with you and ditch the negative self-talk! It is such a joy-thief! You rock, Jessica!

    • I love your perspective, Amy. I will be thinking about that too! And, the ‘joy-thief’ title is spot on. That’s exactly what it is. You rock! So blessed to be friends. #fitfamlove : )

    • Aw ANGE! It’s all mutual. THANK YOU. And hayo to the yes, I am blogfest bound!!! I need to purchase my plane ticket. Eeek. lol. Oh my goodness, I am so excited to meet so many friends in person. YAY!!! And, T-Shirts. yup yup. : )

    • So happy to hear that, Michelle! Yeah, this is a topic and post I am going to return to often, we need this positivity and self-belief in our lives. : ) Thanks, Lovely! Happy Tuesday.

  3. Ah shoot, I needed to read this. On Sunday I was having a bad comparison day. A beautiful friend of mine stood next to me to talk, and I suddenly felt sooo ugly and not good enough. She is tall, thin, muscular, tan, beautiful full long hair, and dresses like a model. On top of it all she is super nice, always doing every thing perfect, extremely wealthy and a great teacher.
    Comparison is the their of joy. But how do you not compare!?

    • Sarah, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a slew of people look at you and think the same thing!!! You are so gorgeous and amazing. For me, I focus on creating a life that is perfect FOR ME. Everyone’s version of the perfect life is different. I focus on creating the best days that I can, one day at a time, enjoying the journey, reaching for best in what I do. I go to bed exhausted, but that’s how I LOVE IT! Focus on making your own life awesome….but your own version of awesome. It’s get easier to not compare when you’re busy creating and living your dream life. : ) Much love, sistah!

  4. I am most definitely a master of negative self-talk, but working hard on kickin’ it! I love the graphics you made for this! :] NOOOO more trash-talkin’ ourselves sounds like a wonderful plan!

    Lesley Roy’s “I’m Gone, I’m Going” (yay for Rock Band discoveries!) would actually be a super fitting song for this! :O

    • Farrah, I am working on kicking it too….obviously…haha…but it’s been a very freeing day. I have rerouted my thoughts several times today, and it makes me feel so much happier to tell my self ‘I Am Enough,’ than, “I’ll never be as great as I want to be.’ It’s a joyful way to live, and I am thrilled to start embracing it, every day. Let’s do this. And, I am pullling up that song on YouTube right now. EEEeee! Big hugs, Farrah. You rock. : )

  5. Jess I proudly kicked negative self talk to the curb! By no means is it perfect but it happens less and less often and I’m getting so good at stopping it in it’s tracks before the thoughts settle in and take over my actions, beliefs and confidence. Seriously, I can’t believe I just said all that about myself. It’s all true but a little hard to believe.

    I tend to pick out a favorite statement or word in your posts and with your writing choosing only 1 or 2 isn’t easy. This resonates to true to me. Right now. On this journey I have found myself…

    “You are capable of every thing you want to be. You have all you need. Celebrate that.”

    The comments and blog posts for this topic touch my heart and inspire me.

    Much love to you friend. xoxo

    • This was such an amazing Fit Dish week, Jill! Thanks so much for the topic idea. #lifechanger : ) And, although I feel like I wish I had started so long ago, I am SO HAPPY I can’t stop the negative self talk NOW. And like you said, it doesn’t quite stop, but gets less and less. I feel so much better without it. Much love, JIll! I got the term ‘I have all that I need,’ from the Soul Stroll by Erin Stutman. It was free, but I don’t know now. It was a guided meditation you could download, and that was one of the mantras. : ) It was really fun, and obviously stuck with me…I listened to it a year ago. Much love!

  6. I broke up with negative self talk last summer during my marathon training. My coach just wouldn’t allow it. I’ll tell you, it was the best thing ever! Not only did I have a strong Chicago marathon, but I pulled myself to some great finish times this spring when I wanted to quit. It’s also helped me in my personal life as well. Yep, I am enough!

    • Love to hear you broke up with that jerk, too. Lol! It is the BEST thing. What a weight. Uck. Always impressed by your running accomplishments, Wendy. Thanks for opening up about your family. You are amazing women. Keep on goin’. : ) Much love!

    • Thanks Lori! oooh, Keith Urban. NICE. Can’t wait to rock out….probs during my long session with the dishes. Haha! #fitfamlove my friend. : )

  7. I’m howling with you too, girl!! OOOWWWW!! Yes, ma’am! Bye Bye negative self talk. Please, please consider making a run of tanks that just simply say I am enough. I’d buy one in a minute. Throw a little #fitfam on the back. :) I think with age comes the ability to start realizing that what we held as important before have changed. I love it best when you said that you are beautiful because “my heart is good and happy, because I love others and I love myself.” That will stick with me! Thank you!!

    • Yay, love these howling vibes. So empowering! YOoooowwwwww! yeah, we totes need that tank, huh? It would stare at it in the mirror while doing squats and feel so powerful. I am so grateful to be learning and growing every day, this blog and The Fit Dish really accelerates the process. I am SOOO happy I am a blogger. #ftifamlove Melanie. You’re seriously awesome. : )

    • Can’t wait to read that post, Jen! I LOVE this topic, and can’t wait to hear your take on it. We ARE ENOUGH. So happy you stopped by! Take care, and hope you have an amazing rest of the week! XOXO Jess Joy

  8. I was touched by your post! I fought the negative self talk problem for so long when I was younger. It really does suck the joy right out of you. It takes awhile to rebuild from that habit. I have learned to stop the negative invader in its tracks and try to think about happy things, but it’s a life long process!
    You are enough, you are beautiful, you are inspiring. Thanks for picking such a great topic to explore :)
    This was my first link up :)

    • Karen, welcome welcome!!! So happy you’re joining us. This is one heckuva #fitfam here. You’re going to love this supportive community! i love the idea of stopping negativity in it’s tracks! Ha, like a deer in head lights, ‘Uh…I’m not supposed to be here. PANIC PANIC….RUN RUN.’ THanks for all your kindness, it means so much. And, glad you liked the topic. We try to vary the subjects of topics, but will always have an extremely empowering, self-evaluting post that can improve our outlooks, very enough. It makes THe Fit Dish, so powerful. : ) Much love XOXO

  9. I LOVE ME — Of course I have my moments, but they’re only moments and moments are tiny tiny tiny slivers of actual LIFE! Over all – I AM THE BOMB in my mind, LOL! And if others don’t agree, well they can go JUMP IN A LAKE! 😉

    • Oh GIGI, I LOVE LOOOOVE your outlook. It is so refreshing. Not only do you love yourself, but you seriously own it, and we see it, and it rubs off. YOW. I will be taking a cue from you, and telling myself I AM THE BOMB. So much fun!!! Thanks lady!

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